Nov 24, 2021
The Modern Man, Who is him? Does he exists?
I was born in the 80s and have always been hearing about modern man. But 38 years later I still ask: who is he? It’s the guy all tattooed, he’s the hipster, or the independent guy, or he’s bold and open to new things or the unknown.
But is that the definition of a modern man? Really?
I grew up watching the world change at a speed never seen before, where beliefs were falling, the woman was conquering and reinventing herself in all the worlds she lives. The woman gains freedom and occupies more and more space in the leadership and in a short time she will take over this world (I hope soon!) which today is still sexist and prejudiced. There is still a long journey for this to happen, but I comment on this because I realize that yes, the modern, empowered and independent woman does exist, and there are references in all spheres (thanks!!!)
The world and society have evolved in so many areas, there is a movement for greater freedom and acceptance across races, genders, sexual choices, and everything we think about — or almost everything.
Man did not reinvent himself, and if he did, it was in a very superficial way. I feel there is a confusion between modern man and fashion man, stylish or culturally open. This is because when men express feelings, comment that they are undergoing therapy, that they seek self-knowledge, that they show any sign of weakness, they end up being judged as depressed, unstable, or even receiving pejorative terms, or that they question the sexual option (yes, it still exists) . Society does not accept the man who feels, who talks, who is affectionate outside of love or family relationships (and even then is judged).
As I understand it, the boy who was raised in a reality where toxic masculinity is normal, when he reaches adulthood, he ends up suffering, as this toxicity still exists in personal and professional relationships. What makes it more complex, because outside the couch, if the man shares the feeling with friends, colleagues, family or partners, he ends up hearing that he is weak, that he is immature, that he is “a little girl” or any other barbarity that ends up limiting and repressing being. The incredible thing is that this machismo is not only practiced by prejudiced men, but also by women (some modern) who, seeing men as not being the traditional alpha, judge the being as weak, as a bad provider, or inadequate.
This oppression occurs from an early age, and I feel it is changing, but slowly. When a boy cannot talk, cry, or talk in his developmental stage, he ends up reaching adulthood with emotional immaturity. Talking is one of the points, but treating your friends and your friends in a loving way is also something that doesn’t happen, and this impacts on adulthood in relationships, personal and professional life. This oppression results in men who cannot understand their actions and feelings, which leads to expressing frustrations through physical or verbal violence, in people who will not deal with rejection or problems in the best way, in psychological disorders that affect their existence.
Reflecting on this, I understand the woman’s faster maturation, as she was encouraged to express and share everything from an early age. With family members, friends and later with those who accompany her. Which makes total sense, as it ends up influencing the skills of reflection, communication and relating, and if we go to the context, to learn more and modernize.
